ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
