Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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