It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
