Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
