I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
