Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
