I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
