Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
