Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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