That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
