Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
