i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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