she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
