Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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