We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
