That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
