i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
