Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
