last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
