i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
