I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think my vagina is haunted
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
