what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
