my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
