Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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