And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
