I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
