Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
