how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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