I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
