it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
