so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
