I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
