she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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