i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
