It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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