Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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