Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
