i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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