this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
