How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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