I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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