what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
