By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
