I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
