Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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