doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
