My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
