I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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