I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
