So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
