Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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