It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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