they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
as a side note pls kill me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
