On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
