lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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