I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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