I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
