But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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