she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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